The Failed Car Theft in Texas That Turns Into Comedy of Errors

This Texas robbery attempt went so wrong, that even the thief had to call the police for help.

Breaking Into a Dealership at 3 A.M. What Could Go Wrong?

Is it just me, or are people getting crazier these days? A man in Tyler, Texas, thought he could waltz into a car dealership in the middle of the night, find the keys to a brand-new ride, and roll out like it was Grand Theft Auto. But reality had other plans.

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Jeremiah Megallon, 38, decided to break into Patterson Dodge around 3:30 a.m. on March 26. His method? Smash through a thick, double-pane glass window. But it didn’t go smoothly. After struggling to break it, he finally shattered the glass, only to badly cut himself crawling through. Now bleeding and stuck inside, you’d think he’d find a way out quietly. Source: People.com

From Robber to 911 Caller

Instead, Megallon did the unthinkable he called the police on himself.

According to the Tyler Police Department, the suspect told dispatchers he was locked in, bleeding, and unable to escape. Public Information Officer Andy Erbaugh later said, “He could’ve just used one of several unlocked doors to leave.” But no, the man who broke in couldn’t figure out how to get out.

Officers arrived, gave him medical treatment, and then took him straight to Smith County Jail, where he was charged with burglary.

Not a Car, Just Candy?

Here’s the kicker, though: Despite all that trouble, Megallon managed to steal a handful of candy from a salesperson’s desk.

No SUV. No grand escape. Just a cut-up criminal with a sweet tooth.

As one dealership manager said, “After 26 years here, truth is stranger than fiction.” And honestly, that sums it up perfectly.

At least where he’s going, they offer three hot meals a day, no keys required.