Danny Gallagher

Grilling outdoors might seem simple since it’s the way that sub-average intelligent cavemen cooked food for themselves for years, but they’re all dead now — probably because they didn’t know that undercooked meat can cause food poisoning.

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In the old days, if you were lucky, you worked until you turned 55, joined the ranks of the retired and scarred your grandkids for life by telling them about all the ears you collected during the big war.

Now, times are tough and pensions are nothing but a distant memory. So more people are working longer and retiring later, if they even retire at all. Of course, some really should consider taking the latter option.

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Science has done a lot of great things in our time. It’s brought mankind to the surface of the moon and back. It has given us a bountiful supply of food. It has created super-stretch waistbands on pants for people who are as big as the moon because they consume too much food.

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Temperatures are reaching new heights as we move into the summer. Sweltering humidity have made being outdoors almost unbearable. The sun is laughing at us.

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The legend of America’s birth is only 236 years old. However, in that short amount of time, a number of legends that would normally take centuries to grow and multiply in any other civilization have sprung up. 

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Everyone knows that times are tough, but some are tougher for others.

Take, for instance, your local ice cream man who has become an American staple, especially during the hot summer months in suburban neighborhoods around the country. He’s miserable and he spends his day in a refrigerated van surrounded by tasty frozen treats!

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Car thefts have been one of those crimes that seem to exist whether the economy is bad or good.

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Apple’s Siri app turned a lot of heads and ears when the iPhone 4S first hit the shelves. The voice controlled app looked and sounded like something from an Arthur C. Clarke novel.

However, it may not bring us any closer to having a real HAL 9000 computer (and considering what happened in ’2001: A Space Odyssey,’ maybe we should be thankful for that).

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